“No, masks aren’t necessary anymore!” said current Fauci. “We just wear them for political theater.”
“That’s insulting! They’re absolutely not theater!” said early May Fauci.
Both of the other Faucis then ganged up on March 2020 Fauci, calling him an “anti-science denier.”
Another Fauci then appeared, and then another, and then another, and all heck broke loose, with the Faucis screaming at one another and calling each other “Q anon crazies” and “progressive totalitarians,” depending on the version of Fauci.
Finally, an uneasy truce was called, as all the Faucis agreed they at least all wanted the same thing: to stay in the spotlight forever.